I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
