3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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