Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
