So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
