i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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