well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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