If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
