some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
