I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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