I wannas sexs uuuuu
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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