You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
