She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
