I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Swine flu. Run for my life!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
