Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize