oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
