I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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