i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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