apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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