And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
