We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
