she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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