i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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