To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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