My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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