I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
