The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize