foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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