and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
