why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
