if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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