I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
