We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Pooping to opera.
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