this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize