he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
