Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
