Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
