i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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