"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
