I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize