What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
