i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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