Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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