U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
