There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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