I wish I only lived at night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
