i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This baby is an asshole
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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