i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
