my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
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I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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