I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize