apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
