how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
