Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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