Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
