What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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