I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
