I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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