So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
