Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
