You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
