you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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