I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
